After I finished my book, I didn’t know what to call it and decided to push back the publication a while. And I really couldn’t tell if it was even worth publishing. I flew back to Moscow on my next vacation and this so-called layer of repressed fear opened up in me. I knew that this fear was irrelevant at that moment but I got into this really morbid state. I just sat there on the balcony for five or six hours, smoked, drank wine and watched my fear. There seemed to be no end to this fear.
I asked Ruslan to transfer energy to me as often as he could and started going to see him several times a week. Energy transfer drastically accelerates the process of the student’s spiritual growth.
After several transfers, the fear was driven out of me with such intensity that I really didn’t know how I managed to live with it.
I had to drive 125 kilometers to the town of Maloyaroslavets. As I was driving there I would periodically vanish from the world. It was as though the world disappeared from me for a period of time, and then returned. The world would only appear for me when the car driving in front was ten centimeters away from me. I’d manage to brake sharply to prevent a collision and then the world would disappear from me again. And so my vanishing went on, and I didn’t know how to go on driving. I was saved by the fact that there were traffic jams all over and the traffic was moving at a very low speed. I began performing the inner prayer of the heart intensively and stopped vanishing. I was doing it all the way there and back, and if I stopped I would quickly vanish.
When I got home I called Ruslan and asked what was happening to me, and when it would end. Ruslan explained that the suppressed fear was closing off the heart channel in a powerful stream. As the heart channel closed, I essentially ceased to exist in the world. It would only end when all that suppressed fear had been dispelled, and that might take another two or three weeks.
I asked why that didn’t happen to normal people, and why they didn’t vanish from the world. Ruslan said people have an auto-pilot setting and it’s always on. All those things, lust, jealousy, envy, hatred, thoughts of the past, plans for the future are constantly coursing through any normal person, but that autopilot goes on working, keeps the person in the world and doesn’t let them disappear.
I went to see Ruslan as often as I could, received that energy transfer, and when my vacation was over, I flew back to work with the fear and the vanishing.
Back at work, I realized something really serious was happening to me, because the fear had never been greater, and I couldn’t inwardly comprehend how it could be there at all.
When I left work I sat in the gazebo and got talking to some girls. I went over to them, said hello and struck up a conversation about nothing in particular. I smoked a cigarette, talked and went home free from worry. I thought, why was I scared of going up to girls before and starting a conversation? I’d had this internal resistance to it before.
In the morning I performed dhikr, two Names, fifteen minutes each, and in the evening did some very powerful practices. Every day I advanced, and it was so quick I didn’t grasp what was happening to me.
One day this beautiful young girl came up to me and asked me to work with her spiritually. I started working with her, but I wasn’t quite sure where to start or what to do exactly.
I came up with a plan for her and wrote detailed instructions for each practice. I uploaded videos of the practices, audio lectures, video lectures, books, films and articles onto a memory stick for her.
I looked at this girl and in my heart I sensed a very subtle, warm energy, which made her the most beautiful girl in the world. I really wanted to help her, and to do all I could to help her become the happiest Princess on earth.
I suddenly realized that this energy is the Unconditional Love about which Ruslan and Osho had written.
When this kind of Love comes about, it depends on nothing and demands nothing in return. It simply exists by itself, and it is beautiful!
The name of my book came to me as if by itself: A Book for Princesses and Sufis.
My shift came to an end and I flew home on vacation in a state of Unconditional Love.
In his poem Ilahi Nama, Attar writes that people are “cross-eyed.” He is referring to the duality of people, their lack of integrity and inability to see oneness.
In the Rajneesh Bible, Osho tells us that the Hindus divide time into four ages:
“Satya Yuga”—supreme consciousness—the golden age; everything in the world was as it should be; there was no crime, immorality, death, sickness or poverty; everywhere, and in everything, there was absolute equilibrium; “satya” translates as “four;” this age was very stable, like a table standing on four legs.
“Treta Yuga”—consciousness—the fall has begun; “treta” translates as “three;” there are only three legs left on the table, and it isn’t as stable as the table with four legs.
“Dvapara Yuga”—subconsciousness—man has fallen still further; “dvapara” translates as “two”; there are only two legs left on the table; it has become almost impossible to reach equilibrium, and man lives on instinct; he does not know why he does one thing or the other, why he has this or that desire, why this or that makes him happy or unhappy, he is feeling his way through the darkness.
“Kali Yuga”—unconsciousness—the age of darkness in which we are living now; “kali” means “one;” man is completely unconscious; the table has only one leg left.
I recounted this to my wife. “Lyubov, it’s a damn terrible life for you, you’re desperately trying to stand up on one leg, and not only that but you’re cross-eyed!”
Lyubov looked at me askance and told me something along the lines of, “We have a good life, and it’ll carry on like that as long as we don’t know we’re standing on one leg and we’re cross-eyed. As long as no one tells us about it, or shows us by their own personal example, their own level of being, we live well. But if someone does suddenly show us this, then of course we start to wonder. In practice that never happens in people’s lives, because everyone everywhere is cross-eyed, and everyone is living on one leg.”
She stood up and thoughtfully added that if a table only has one leg then it should be moved as close as possible to the center of the table or it will just fall over.
Lyubov said she would learn from me and asked me to stand her on three legs.
I wrote her a decent learning plan to take her first steps on The Path.
The plan included five topics: Practice, Theory, Philosophy, Imagination and Intuition.
I went to see Ruslan, got an energy transfer and for the first time ever I was not knocked down. I wasn’t knocked down anymore, I was in a state of awareness, in the “Here and Now.”
I no longer wanted to drink beer, and I began performing the practices. During these practices I was buzzing all over like I was in a transformer.
The will of God, which Ruslan writes about in his books, came to me for the first time on my balcony while performing the practices. I saw very clearly that I would have to make some business cards. I sat down after my practices, wrote out some text for the business cards, and I didn’t like it much. I rewrote the text a second time, and then a third, a fourth, a twentieth. I kept writing until it came out decent. The next time I went to see Ruslan, I showed him the text. Ruslan corrected it a little, and I started looking for a place I could order them from. Until I had those 100 beautiful, finished business cards in my hands, I felt a tremble in my heart, there’s no other word for it.
On the cards were written the words “Spiritual and Mystical Practices, Attention, Energy, Awareness, One-On-One Work.”
I felt that tremble in my heart again and saw that I should give a business card to the salesgirl, but this time something inside stopped me. I felt very awkward in front of this girl and in front of the other salespeople, I put myself in her place. Suppose I’m this girl working in a shop, some man comes up and thrusts a business card at me, offering to teach me Spiritual and Mystical Practices. Is he in love me or something, this man, or is he just an idiot?
I went home—to hell with it. But there it was, my heart went on trembling more and more and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t concentrate on my practices, books, or anything else for that matter. This girl and the business card blocked everything from me. I would just have to find this girl and give her a card. I went into the shop, but it wasn’t her shift, I came the next day, and the next, and finally I gave her a card.
Ruslan told me not to ponder or weigh things up so much. The will of God does not come only to me, but to all the people around me, through me. I should just act—give out the card and have done with it. He added: how do you know where that card is going to end up, and what it might influence and how?
And that’s how I came to give out nine business cards in Moscow. The signal was always that trembling in my heart. I’m looking at some girl, for instance, and there’s no trembling, then I look at another and there is.
One time I was standing at a bus stop, and there were these two beautiful deaf girls there. They were expressing themselves to each other in signs, waving their arms about. This mean looking woman demonstratively recoiled from them, hissing something as she went.
I looked at the deaf girl and felt in my heart an energy far more subtle, warmer and more pure than Unconditional Love. Not only did this girl seem to be the most beautiful on earth, I would be quite happy to take her in my arms and spend the rest of my life blowing the dust from her. I gave her my card, and she indicated to me with her fingers that she would write. I awaited her email, but it never came.
That subtle, tender, warm and perfectly beautiful energy in the heart is Compassion.
Before flying back to work I went to see Ruslan and he gave me another energy transfer.
After the transfer, Ruslan said, “That’s it, there is no more veil, there is only Divine Presence!”
I flew back to work and God gave the Princess to me. I showed her the initial practices, did dhikr with her in the Name of “The Loving-kind.” After dhikr I decided to give her a transfer. I had never done a transfer before, but this time I saw that it was precisely what I needed to do.
It was as though a hole had opened at the nape of my neck, and energy poured into it from above through a funnel. This energy flowed from my head into my heart, then afterward from my heart to my hands as if through a hose and poured directly into the Princess.
During our next Skype conversation, I was asking Ruslan a lot of questions about energy transfer, how to dose it, how often to do it, and how much I would be enough for.
Ruslan said since that energy came to me through my seventh center I was enough for the whole world. God gave me six beautiful Princesses and I began carrying out Spiritual and Mystical Work with them. I will now always keep going with this work, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
One time I was sitting in the gazebo smoking a cigarette and I thought, why has God only given me Princesses and up till now He has not given me even one Mister?
No sooner had I thought of this than five men came over to the gazebo. They sat themselves down importantly and started talking. They were all college educated, they looked respectable, they must work as managers, or coordinators, or engineers.
I listened in on their conversation and saw very clearly that this was God’s answer to my question. In the course of a half hour, none of them uttered a single relevant or even remotely intelligent word. Their entire conversation amounted to nothing more than the feverish chatter of five machines. Men, for the most part, are simply not in the condition of learning.
God gave me a Mister, Arysbek, and I began working with him. A month later he came out with a phrase that would become famous: “Konstantin, why did everybody suddenly get so stupid?”
Now, I observe and understand intuitively where I need to change the course of my Work, what I need to move towards and what I need to do. God’s will is issued in parts, a little more each day.
Right now God’s will is to set up a Sufi School in New York.
I have found a professional translator in New York to translate my book and Ruslan's books into English.
I will publish my book in Russian in Moscow and in English in New York.
I am gathering together the educational materials I will need for our work in America—books, audiobooks, articles, parables, poems, lectures, audio lectures, video lectures and films.
In Moscow, I went to the Tradition Press publishing group to ask them to publish my Book for Princesses and Sufis and to create a website for the Spiritual and Mystical Practices School of Sufism in Russian and English.
* * *
Anastasia, one of my beautiful Princesses, asked,
“How long does The Path go on for?”
I replied, “Princess, The Path goes on all through life and does not end in death.”